TRAGEDY STRIKES THE FIRST ANNUAL LEGO BOAT REGALIA

This just in, ladies and gentlemen. The First Annual Lego boat Regalia has suffered a major tragedy. Of the 5 boats entered in what was to be an historic event, only two boats and three amateur sailors have survived to tell the tale.

This cool, fall morning began as any other. A light, crisp breeze pushed across the waterfront and calming birdsong filled the air. The excitement began to build as block after block was assembled and the boats began to take shape. Once completed and fitted with sails, the shoreline became riddled with spectators who came to witness history in the making. As the day progressed, however, no one watching could have known that they would instead be witness to one of the greatest tragedies in Lego boating history.

Early reports received stated that upon entering the water, many of the boats began tipping and taking on water, ultimately resulting in the capsizing of three of the vessels, including the royal ship of Schtupidberg. We cannot confirm if any royalty was on board, however we are still investigating. Witnesses to the event have been cordoned off for questioning, but some witnesses were quoted as saying the accident was, "horrifying, unbelievable and scarring."

The only three surviving members of the event include West Virginia resident, Cleaven Onetooth and his boat, Yard Junk and the leather clad duo of Dicky and JJ with their boat, The Streisand.

"Amateur tapes have been confiscated by local authorities and the cause of the multitude of accidents is still under review," said Hans Blockenbuilden, the representative for the event. "Until then, we can only speculate as to the cause. Until the findings are determined, we can only pray for the families and those affected by this horrifying accident."


**We must warn you, the photographs below may be disturbing to some readers.

[this image removed due to its graphic nature]

Other representatives for the event, who spoke on the condition of anonyminity, stated that they believe the design of some of the ships may be to blame, but they too are speculating. However in traditional Lego fashion, Hans Blockenbuilden was quoted to say, "the fallen vessels will be stripped down and we'll give it another go. That's just what you do with the little blocks."