My kid's got one up on you Dora the uh...whatever

Dorer the Explorer? Dora the Explora? Well whatever it is, that show works on my nerves. Why is it that every character sounds like they're yelling all the time? How does saying 'Swiper, no swiping' actually stop the fox? When I repeat instructions to my child, over and over, it doesn't work! And what is Boots' name when he has his boots off?! Feet? Toes? Ok, deep breath. Sorry, I've been holding that stuff in for a long time (and please don't get me started on the cow and backpack).

Don't ask...

When Declan was younger I was one of those parents who always said, "I'll raise him right, watching Transformers, G.I. Joe and He-Man, none of this crap they have on now." But then reality sinks in (along with my wife's Mjöllnir of subtle influence), and he ends up watching good quality, age appropriate shows such as Blue's Clues, Calliou and Kipper. I was happy for a while, then the Dora kick started, followed by a long lasting disdain for pink shirts and orange shorts.

Eventually I saw a light at the end of the tunnel...but then her blasted cousin shows up and rekindles the black flame of despair.

However...just the other day, my hopes were met with irrefutable evidence that there will be life A.D. (After Dora, for those that were wondering).

Declan was watching Dora and the little bowl cut demon was summoning her map from the bowels of backpack (who, just in the last episode, ate map through the top of its head, by the way). So map pops up and Declan's looking at the screen and Dora repeats ten times where they need to go and how they're going to get there. And just before my eyes started to bleed Declan turns to me and says, "Daddy. I don't want to watch Dora anymore."

Clutching the sofa as not to fall, I swallowed my heart and said, "Ok. why not, buddy?"

He then looks at the screen and shaking his head, he says, "Because Dora's stupid. She has a map and she knows where to go, so why doesn't she just go around all the bad stuff? She's so dumb."

I held my child and cried as the angels sang down from the heavens.